Here it is six months to the day since she passed and I can't remember how we celebrated her last birthday. And that frustrates me. I can recall the usual things like the sound of her voice and how she cheered "Happy birthday!" every year. But I want to remember what we talked about, the jokes I'm sure we told each other. The last hugs.
I did manage to find a grainy video from her birthday in 2010.
I'd like to tell her that everything is okay or at least that I am taking care of things as best I can. Every day is different and some things don't work out right. If I could recapture more of her spirit it would make the tough days a bit easier.
It's raining something fierce right now. I suppose that's good. It means the last of her flowers will keep blooming.