Friday, February 6, 2009

Riding Ten Thunders Chapter Three

Okay, one more chapter and I am leaving this alone. RIDING TEN THUNDERS: CHAPTER THREE

This is the direction the story took from the endpoint of the piece that appeared at Reflection's Edge oh so long ago.

Anyway, back to Heritage House!!!!

1 comment:

JC said...

Read chapters two and three.

The pacing worked fine with both. I'm guessing since you laid down so much ground work in chapter one, it allowed the characters to take over.

Oddly enough, both chapters had only one error (that I picked up anyway).

Chapter 2 - rough estimate p. 3:
"So when you take Mujahl with you, I want you to take him as your brother."

Chapter 3 - rough estimate p. 3:
...Urbu taught me to curse in five different valley languages beacause insults were the only words word (worth) shouting during a fight.

Otherwise, from what I read, the story is coming together nicely.

And in regards to comic con, I've already committed myself to the task of going. Bought my ticket for Saturday.

Enjoy your weekend.

Flame and Bone

When I was made from fire
Poured into the tender vessel of caution
That keeps my smoke from rising
Quickly did I discover that apart from crisp drizzles or falling snow
The world chilled my touched
Walking the narrow cornered gap between girders and cut stone
One learns to tuck his shoulders in or risk
Jostling a neighbor passing by rapt with want
For a clear path without the distraction
Of another man's boiling eyes
The tip of a finger
That oldest of all weapons
Grown deadlier and pristine in its invention
Gathers a mote of a cinder on its bare flesh
And turns pondering how best to scratch the impious itch
Prying open the tender seam
Where the oil of thought dews
Offering a new wick to ignite
Squirming alive as a salamander of mischief
That yearns for a taste of air it is so ready to devour
The steam of breath betrays me
Before the glint of orange spreads
In popping bright waves
Eroding the fibers feeding it
Leaving naught but ash
As my shell of quietude falls away