Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I know what I said about NOT discussing dating BUT

This crap is just too priceless to not bring up...I must say I am flabbergasted yet again:

Personal ad from a woman who calls herself Lovestinks1969:

"I'm 38 years old, looking for a MAN not a mouse. I have a very strong
personality; seeking a self-confident MAN to bring out the inner me. I am tired
of mice! Be a MAN for once please!

Dear Santa, I've been good this year, even though people have shit on me all year, lied to me and used me. Please send me a MAN, a REAL MAN, NOT another boy! I want to play with him, (video games, board games, card games, etc.), hold him, have him hold me, make out, all that "couples shit" that you read about. My life is not a Hallmark card, nor should it be. Please Santa, bring me a real man or, in the alternate, shoot me!

LOL Love, Me"

OMFG what the hell does this woman think is going to happen here? I mean really, lady. Why should anyone want to talk to her? This sounds like a miserable, ignorant shrew. MAYBE this person was just joking by posting this ad. Or not. I have seen similar ones that are 100% serious. Shall I evoke the name of CRAP Magnet Girl???

People scare me...they really do. It is much safer to hide at the dojo alone eating a root beer float while watching episodes of Pokemon. Pikachu only speaks one word and one word only and even a monotonous cartoon character doesn't sound this stupid.

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Flame and Bone

When I was made from fire
Poured into the tender vessel of caution
That keeps my smoke from rising
Quickly did I discover that apart from crisp drizzles or falling snow
The world chilled my touched
Walking the narrow cornered gap between girders and cut stone
One learns to tuck his shoulders in or risk
Jostling a neighbor passing by rapt with want
For a clear path without the distraction
Of another man's boiling eyes
The tip of a finger
That oldest of all weapons
Grown deadlier and pristine in its invention
Gathers a mote of a cinder on its bare flesh
And turns pondering how best to scratch the impious itch
Prying open the tender seam
Where the oil of thought dews
Offering a new wick to ignite
Squirming alive as a salamander of mischief
That yearns for a taste of air it is so ready to devour
The steam of breath betrays me
Before the glint of orange spreads
In popping bright waves
Eroding the fibers feeding it
Leaving naught but ash
As my shell of quietude falls away