Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock...WTF???

Before Ken Shamrock comes kicking down my door to break my neck, I know why he has been called "The Most Dangerous Man Alive". He is a mixed martial arts legend. He's enjoyed widespread fame during his time as a pro-wrestler in the WWE.

But that was a few years ago and he has lost his last five MMA bouts.

So it is shocking to hear that the producers of fledgling fight show EliteXC booked a match between Shamrock and backstreet brawler Kimbo Slice.

Shamrock, 44, has nothing to prove by taking on Slice aside from satisfying personal pride. Slice, 34, is a greenhorn in the world of organized MMA. Sure he has pimp-slapped tough guys in those outrageous YouTube videos but he is just earning his place among skilled, trained professional fighters.

EliteXC is looking for a star to make the show shine and Slice seems to be the show's one true draw. Pairing Slice against Shamrock may get novelty ratings to please the owners of the CBS network. But it is also a sign of EliteXC trying to call attention to itself while Ultimate Fighting Championship on cable channel Spike continues to be the more popular, well-established franchise.

In his prime, Shamrock would wreck Slice regardless of his size. The outcome of this bout, set sometime in October, doesn't hold that much weight in my mind aside from the attempt at pumping some excitement into quivering EliteXC.

If Shamrock wins, it would be problematic for EliteXC. He has more talent but Slice has youth, size and fresher popularity on his side. I doubt EliteXC is looking to keep Shamrock on as its star player.

If Slice wins, it throws more dust on Shamrock's fame. It may earn Slice some "ring cred" and give EliteXC a little lift. Win over a drove of new fans to the show?

I think they would have more luck pitting Kimbo Slice vs. Butterbean. Now THAT would be a hot mess I would watch!

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Flame and Bone

When I was made from fire
Poured into the tender vessel of caution
That keeps my smoke from rising
Quickly did I discover that apart from crisp drizzles or falling snow
The world chilled my touched
Walking the narrow cornered gap between girders and cut stone
One learns to tuck his shoulders in or risk
Jostling a neighbor passing by rapt with want
For a clear path without the distraction
Of another man's boiling eyes
The tip of a finger
That oldest of all weapons
Grown deadlier and pristine in its invention
Gathers a mote of a cinder on its bare flesh
And turns pondering how best to scratch the impious itch
Prying open the tender seam
Where the oil of thought dews
Offering a new wick to ignite
Squirming alive as a salamander of mischief
That yearns for a taste of air it is so ready to devour
The steam of breath betrays me
Before the glint of orange spreads
In popping bright waves
Eroding the fibers feeding it
Leaving naught but ash
As my shell of quietude falls away