Saturday, August 16, 2008

Chapter 16 rewrite is done

On to Chapt. 17. Things are moving a lot more quickly... mostly because I am not sleeping. LOL But I do have a better take on the edits and reworking of the plot I think.

Chapter 17 will mostly be about cleaning up continuity problems that arose from my prior rewrites. I can have that done by day's end.

That will leave chapters 18 through 26 to rework. That's the last big chunk of the book and poses the most danger I think.

Looking at books that have done well in the market, I wonder if I am being way too subtle and understated with my plot. I hate forcing the reader to see something, much rather leave bread crumbs for them to follow. But that can seem like I am meandering.

In the meantime, I might actually go out tonight... just for the sake of an evening away from home. We shall see...

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Flame and Bone

When I was made from fire
Poured into the tender vessel of caution
That keeps my smoke from rising
Quickly did I discover that apart from crisp drizzles or falling snow
The world chilled my touched
Walking the narrow cornered gap between girders and cut stone
One learns to tuck his shoulders in or risk
Jostling a neighbor passing by rapt with want
For a clear path without the distraction
Of another man's boiling eyes
The tip of a finger
That oldest of all weapons
Grown deadlier and pristine in its invention
Gathers a mote of a cinder on its bare flesh
And turns pondering how best to scratch the impious itch
Prying open the tender seam
Where the oil of thought dews
Offering a new wick to ignite
Squirming alive as a salamander of mischief
That yearns for a taste of air it is so ready to devour
The steam of breath betrays me
Before the glint of orange spreads
In popping bright waves
Eroding the fibers feeding it
Leaving naught but ash
As my shell of quietude falls away