In future installments, I will discuss the influence TV shows such as "The Bachelor", "The Bachelorette" and even "Sex and the City" have on the way people approach dating today.
This evening I will pull the curtain back on some of the dating codes and phrases used today. There are some hidden meanings in the things people say to potential mates and I am here to help decipher what's really going on.
- "I like to travel." This does not mean day trips to the shore or a bed and breakfast in the country. Break out your passport to keep up with this person. For the men in the audience, this is a way women measure your financial security. I got that piece of information from a good female friend. The man visits Borneo has what the traveler wants. The man who plans a trip to Boston may find himself standing at the airport terminal waving bye-bye to his lady.
- "I like going to bookstores." That's a white lie. More people find their literature through e-tailers such as Amazon. Brick-and-mortar bookstores such as Borders are fighting for market share. Here's the real story: People say they love bookstores in order to sound cultured. Wait for them to mention an author or a favorite title. THAT's when you get to know about a person. Be a careful with people who only read self-help books or relationship guides. They may try to define you by the last chapter they read.
- "I'm tired of the bar scene." Well, who isn't? I am not encouraging you to go strutting around the local watering hole. What this person is actually tired of is leaving the house to see people. There is a couch and a TV waiting to offer comfort every Friday night. Getting cleaned up, meeting some friends and having a good laugh are bothersome. The Lifetime channel has just the right movie on all the time.
- "I just love meeting new people." Run. You just met a serial dater. This person is only looking for fleeting distractions. They may chat you up and listen to your silly stories but they just want a little sample before moving along to the next new face. I met a young lady who said her co-workers sent her to a singles' night because she had dated all their friends. Serial daters don't know how to stop and it's not your fault when they forget your name after 20 minutes.
- "I will try just about anything once." That's cute. Life is like a series of appetizers to this person. Truth is, this person does not like real change. They will visit a new place, eat new food, etc. only for the sake of saying they did . . . that one time. Ever. If they try something on their own, GREAT! If they wait for you to urge them to try it . . . do not expect a repeat performance. When all attempts at impressing you are done, they will settle back into their real routine.
That's enough for one night. Next time I may explore the phenomena I call "Being Fabulous" . . .
Take all I say with a helping of salt because in the end, what the heck do I know?